I will be attending Northeastern University and I'm going to be in the Business school. Even though I'm registered as a marketing major, I'm not entirely sure on what I want to do in the future or whether I want to still do marketing or not. I have been dreaming about living in Boston for a very long time and it is finally happening, and of course I was ecstatic when I first found out, I couldn't stop thinking about it at first. But now I feel like I've thought about it so much, it is now a norm and I am no longer as "excited" as I was a few months ago. I mean don't get me wrong I am still very grateful and very excited to go to Northeastern, but right now after graduation and all the celebrations, my life has been quite dull, I feel like my emotions have been dulled (is that a word), all I do now is sleep, eat, watch tv shows, gym a little and maybe see the occasional friend. This is definitely a first world problem but I feel so unconnected being in Bangkok. Even though I've lived here for almost 15 years I feel lonely, my close family is back in Singapore where my room, belongings and my close friends are, who I really miss.
After writing dozens of college essays I've noticed that they wanted to know where "home" is to me. home to me is not where my blood is or even where I'm "from" home is where I'm comfortable and happy. And I don't know whether I am those things back here in Bangkok. I'm here for 3 weeks which I mean is not torture but it's 3 weeks that I'm not sure what I'm going to do and what I'm going to spend my time doing.
I'm probably writing all of this for myself, but by any chance anyone is reading this, I hope you feel comfortable where you are and I hope you're happy. Have a great summer
- Emma K.